Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
