Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
