another moral hangover. fuck.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
