Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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