i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
