We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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