talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
false alarm, still single
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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