we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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