put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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