i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
