I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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