i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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