can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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