community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
