fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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