I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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