I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
