I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
