Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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