Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
