i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
