you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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