Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
