you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
