Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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