"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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