two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
