.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
