and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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