Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
worst night to have a conscience
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
