why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
