please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
