To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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