she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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