I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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