I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
