WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
