In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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