I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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