I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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