before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
