You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Randomize
