were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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