That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
