the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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