i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
