Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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