our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We left an ass print on the piano.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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