I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
