went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
