***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
