Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We had to coat check the pizza.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
