Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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