I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
